haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
