Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
