We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
