I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
