This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
