Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
