Just cropdusted the office
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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