Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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