I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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