I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
