Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Randomize
