I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
