That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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