She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
