I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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