This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
