If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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