if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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