The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
