I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
