I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
