he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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