I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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