Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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