I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
