He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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