thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
