Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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