when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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