this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
