So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
