This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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