Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
being pregnant is like rehab
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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