when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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