please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
