My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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