Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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