i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
