We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
try to milk me bitch
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