You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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