It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
