I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
