So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
