i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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