I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
