i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
