But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
