Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think I died a long time ago.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
