OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
