Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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