meet me or not, i'm out of control
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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