I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize