Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
