she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
