I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
