she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
