member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize
