i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
