If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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