My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
