This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
