I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
