she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
