just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
