based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
