I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
