So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
4 words: hood of his car
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
