Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
