i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Everyone says I win the strip club
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
