She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize