We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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