1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
