I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
