I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
