this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Randomize
