He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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