Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
