You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
